Picture this: 25 years old, almost 300 pounds, low self-esteem, and low ambition, in the tech field, which requires continuous learning, a drive to upskill, learn new technologies, and earn certifications. That’s me. I don’t have the drive to roll out of bed; the only thing that gets me up is needing a job to live and a cat who needs to eat. I honestly think this stems from me being diagnosed with Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (HCM) five years ago, having my life turned upside down, and being told all the stuff you’ve been doing, like working out, boxing, powerlifting, and drinking tea, can end your life; it makes you not want to do anything at all. At 22, I got an ICD implanted in my chest in case anything would happen, and my limits became stricter; I wasn’t allowed to lift more than 5 pounds, and the most I could do for cardio was a brisk walk, being told that broke me. I fully gave up and started eating fast food pretty much every day and spent my time playing video games and watching porn. Even though I had a girlfriend who wanted to have sex with me, I didn’t feel like she should have sex with someone who’s a slob and has given up on themselves. At 25, I underwent open-heart surgery, and they cut out the thickness within the left side of my heart, which meant I was no longer under any restrictions and I could do whatever I wanted. But I’ve been living life as if I was gonna die anyway so I didn’t care about my financial issues, health, or general self-care. I didn’t think I would make it this far, and now I feel these bad habits and mentality have been rooted inside me, and I don’t know what to do to break free of this cycle. I want to get healthier; I want to get back in the gym; I want to get back into boxing and powerlifting, but I can’t bring myself to do it now. I still don’t have the drive to get myself a better job, even though I know exactly what I need to do to get one. These bad habits have ruined so much of myself, I hate it so much and I want to fix all of this. submitted by /u/Sanbikaa
Originally posted by u/Sanbikaa on r/AskMen