I’m really clueless as a 32-year-old woman when it comes to being supportive about a man’s financial struggles. I make more money than my boyfriend of 2 years. My upbringing was relatively more spartan than his and I’ve managed to work myself up into a well-paying job. My boyfriend, on the other hand, is feeling the gap between expectations that come with being born middle class and the economic realities of our present day. He sees himself as a failure for not having the well-paying career his family wanted him to get, and he’s experiencing the valid inconveniences that come with not making enough money. How can I show I am here for him without belittling or emasculating him? I asked him if he felt any gender-specific shame about it because I heard some men feel extra ashamed due to imposed gender roles and he said no, he just feels like a failure as a person and thinks he is going to die in a gutter. I tried pointing out that he pays his half of the rent and that we have a roof over our head, food, and bills paid partially thanks to him and how monumental of an accomplishment that is. I have no clue how to support someone through this. No one really supported me when I was going through this. The only thing that got me through was hard work, but that doesn’t leave me with anything empathetic to say to someone. He is anxious and so I should be there for him, and anything I could possibly think of saying just comes off dismissive and belittling. submitted by /u/Only_Measurement_895
Originally posted by u/Only_Measurement_895 on r/AskMen