I’m a man who struggles with social anxiety and shyness. Sometimes, I feel like I’m too soft and weak because I’m generally kind, polite, and gentle toward people. I wonder if this is one of the reasons why I struggle to make friends or find a girlfriend. I feel like men are expected to be confident, assertive, tough, and sometimes even dominant to be respected and attractive. Meanwhile, being too nice or soft can make people see you as weak or take advantage of you. I don’t want to become a cruel or arrogant person, but I want to develop a stronger personality, become more confident, stop being afraid of people, and learn how to stand up for myself without feeling guilty. For men who used to be shy, socially anxious, or overly soft, how did you become more masculine and mentally tough? How can I develop these traits naturally instead of pretending to be someone I’m not? And how do I know the difference between being genuinely kind and being a people-pleaser who is afraid of confrontation? Edit: I basically workout everyday now, but not just I want to be physically tough, mentally as well. submitted by /u/Thin_Bug_1710
Originally posted by u/Thin_Bug_1710 on r/AskMen