I am 30 and have struggled with self esteem all of my life. But at this point I have experienced enough of life to understand that my issues are primarily internal and I can’t figure them out. Little bit of a shaky childhood, hostile dynamics, socially reserved / inept as a kid / teen, started drinking and doing drugs young, moved across the country where I didn’t know anyone and basically ended up homeless and a raging alcoholic / addict, would wake up in the middle of the night to people trying to rob me, by the time I moved back home I weighed like 100 pounds and had to start from 0. Used women as validation. Chased them endlessly. Lots of casual sex that harmed me in the long run. I could get a beautiful girl to come home with me and feel hollow again immediately after. More drinking and drugs ensue. Kept working, started working out, years of trying to figure my shit out, had two fairly toxic long term relationships, picked bad partners and got cheated on, but never gave up. Got a car, a house, a dog, made friends and became closer with my family. At 30 my life is full. I am in peak physical shape, I’m sober, I make 80k a year, I love my job and my friends and family and I love how far I’ve come. However, I am still so horribly insecure. Despite everything I’ve overcome I still see myself as the skinny 22 year old kid without a home. I believe that the women I want do not want me and that there’s some club or society of men who can have those women and I’m just not a part of it. It messes with my head a lot. Im happy with my life and have accepted I might never find the right woman. And I’m focused on feeling whole and complete. But inside, a lot of this is cope because I believe I am not enough to have someone who I find beautiful, wonderful to be with, who loves and cares for me and wants to build a life. I don’t know how to overcome this paradigm that tells me I am not enough. I have done so much in my life and I still can’t figure it out. Men, what did you do to conquer this belief? submitted by /u/shitepool666
Originally posted by u/shitepool666 on r/AskMen