I’m 22M and honestly, I just want some genuine friends to talk to. Somehow, I always end up feeling left out or ignored. I feel like my friends don’t really care about including me. They’re not bad people. Whenever I start a conversation or call them, they talk nicely, and we have good, interesting conversations. But they rarely involve me in things themselves. The moment a third person joins, I suddenly feel like I don’t matter anymore. This even happens with someone I consider my best friend. He calls me almost every day and shares almost everything with me, so I always thought we had a genuine friendship. But recently, I experienced the same situation with him, and it honestly hurt. I keep wondering whether I’m doing something wrong. One thing I’ve noticed about myself is that I’m always available for everyone, even when I’m dealing with difficult situations of my own. I rarely share my problems or emotions because I’m afraid of losing people. I usually keep a smile on my face and pretend everything is fine. I’ve always felt that people don’t really want to be around someone who’s struggling or unsuccessful. Maybe that’s why I’ve become so used to keeping things to myself. My mom is my biggest emotional support. She raised me to be kind, help others, and treat everyone well. But lately, I’ve started questioning whether being too nice and always available is actually a good thing. Do I need to set boundaries and stop expecting the same effort from everyone? There’s another thing that’s constantly on my mind. I currently earn around ₹30K per month after deductions. I see my parents getting older, and all I want is to give them the life they never had. Sometimes I feel like I’m not doing enough for them. I want to earn more, build something of my own, and make them proud, but I often feel lost about how to get there. I’m also a shy, introverted person who genuinely wants to make cool friends, play games together, go out, share random thoughts, and create memories. I don’t need a huge social circle. Even having two or three genuine friends would mean a lot to me. I’ve tried starting faceless YouTube channels, Instagram pages, and consistently uploading content, hoping to build something for myself. But nothing has really worked out so far. Sometimes it feels like no matter how much effort I put into things, I don’t get the results I’m hoping for. Recently, I’ve been feeling increasingly isolated. I spend a lot of time thinking about these things, and I don’t really have anyone I feel comfortable opening up to. I guess I’ve been keeping too much to myself for too long. I wanted to share this somewhere because I could really use some outside perspectives. I don’t want sympathy or people telling me everything will be fine. I’d genuinely appreciate honest advice from people who’ve experienced something similar. A few things I’d really like advice on:
- How do you make genuine friendships as an adult, especially when you’re shy and introverted?
- How do you stop being the person who’s always available for everyone but rarely feels equally valued?
- How do you set boundaries without becoming distant or losing your kindness?
- How do you find your own social circle when you already feel like an outsider?
- Am I expecting too much from people, or should I change the way I approach friendships? If you’ve been through something similar, I’d genuinely like to hear how you dealt with it. I’m just trying to understand myself better and figure out how to build meaningful friendships and a happier life. submitted by /u/Main_Specialist_6891
Originally posted by u/Main_Specialist_6891 on r/AskMen