I tell my wife all the time that men don’t really talk . We just kinda exist around each other. It’s a dude thing. I once had a friend for THREE MONTHS before I knew his first name. I’m not even joking. I had his number saved in my phone as “Neighber.” Spelled wrong and everything. He was a pothead who didn’t drink, and I was a drinker who didn’t smoke. So we’d hang out, he’d grab a blunt, I’d grab a couple shooters and a soda, and we’d go cruising around the big loop of the city. We did this regularly. For MONTHS. One day, another friend came over to my house. She was outside talking to my neighbor and eventually came inside and casually mentioned she’d been talking to “George.” I was like, “Who the fuck is George?” She pointed outside. I looked out the window and saw my buddy walking away. “Hmmm…doesn’t really look like a George. But alright.” Pulled out my phone, found “Neighber,” and changed his contact to George before I forgot. Shortly after that, George broke his phone and had to get a new one. He asked me to text him so he could save my number again. So I sent him a text with my first name and I watched his eyes light up with relief! I SWEAR THIS MOTHERFUCKER DIDN’T KNOW MY NAME EITHER. Three months. Two grown men. Hanging out multiple times a week. Neither one knowing what the fuck to call the other. And somehow, this was a perfectly functioning friendship. Anyway, I tell that story because my wife genuinely cannot comprehend how little information I actually know about some of my closest friends. My guy friends will come over, and we’ll spend HOURS talking cars, work, some ex-girlfriend we saw at Walmart, whatever. Then I’ll leave the room for FIVE MINUTES to take a piss. I come back and my wife is sitting there with that wide-eyed “PLEASE GET ME OUT OF THIS CONVERSATION” look on her face. Later, I’ll ask her what the hell happened. “Oh my God, your friend is fucked. Apparently his dad died when he was 10, he and his wife had a massive fight yesterday, and you know that boat he has? IT’S NOT EVEN HIS. IT’S HIS DAD’S.” And I’m just standing there like… “I WAS GONE FOR FIVE FUCKING MINUTES?!?!” I’ve known this man for YEARS. I know what kind of truck he drives, what beer he drinks, and that he just recently shit himself at a gas station. Apparently my wife knows his entire psychological profile, marriage history, childhood trauma, and current financial situation. After one conversation. So, men of Reddit, what’s the biggest “Wait…how the FUCK did I not know that?” moment you’ve ever had with a close friend or family member? I’m talking about those people you’ve known for YEARS, only to discover some absolutely wild piece of information about their lives from someone else. Or from them, but only after the fact. submitted by /u/Snoop-ah-loopp
Originally posted by u/Snoop-ah-loopp on r/AskMen