I’m in my late 20s and I’m honestly socially inept, and my social interactions always get awkward. it’s really difficult for me to develop a close friendship with someone. So I have a fake work personality that is friendly and nice, because I’m always worried that I might come off as rude if I cut people off, or offend them if I don’t seem interested. This really hasn’t been too much of an issue for me in the past, but a while back I got a new role and in my new role I work with a lot of a lot of women from a culture that apparently really like me and doesn’t mind making it obvious. So over the past months due to my inability to shut down conversations and not knowing how to not flirt back without seeming rude. (I’m aware that it is happening in those moments but I’m unable to act due to mentally not being able to process a way to shut it down without being rude). I now have a handful of ladies that will stop to talk to me, and very obviously flirt to where others notice. It’s causing me to get a reputation that I don’t want. I’ve had supervisors make joking comments about the interactions to me, I’ve noticed one of the women making multiple comments about “my girlfriend(s)” trying to come across jokingly. I’m in a good place mentally and really progressing at work and getting a lot of new opportunities for growth, and I have decided to focus on solely my work and go full steam ahead on that. So I have 360’d on my social interactions. Trying to avoid them or make them very short and say I need to get back to work etc… I feel bad 360ing but I don’t know how to do the middle ground of being nice and professional. So I’ve just gone to being strictly professional, and this has caused me to receive comments asking why I’ve changed so much, why I’m so quiet, am I mad, etc. I’ll reply with something like “new year new me, trying to focus on my goals haha” but now some of these ladies really make it obvious they are trying to get my attention. it’s honestly really getting exhausting mentally each day in the office having to try to juggle this game of politics. I can’t go to my boss because they are part of the problem, don’t wanna go to their boss because I want to demonstrate that I don’t cause problems and can be independent so I can get promoted. Don’t wanna go to HR because same as above. I’ve thought about each of these options in depth for a while but I feel like my best choice is to keep grinding and get promoted out. Looking for some guidance on how to navigate these interactions while being stuck between a rock and a hard place. I feel like me pulling back has just created new problems, and I’m not sure how to make a friendly middle ground that doesn’t lead to some kind of flirting. TDLR: I’m socially awkward and don’t know how to have normal interactions with women in my office and it’s causing me a lifetime of stress, and I am looking for some guidance on how to interact with them and keeping it strictly professional. submitted by /u/UseToHaveACamera
Originally posted by u/UseToHaveACamera on r/AskMen
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