Skip if you dont care for long posts, there is no TLDR. We are both early mid 30’s. Been married almost 8 years. We met in college. He has had his up and down moments and so have I. He lost his job a few months ago(he hated that job anyway) and it has greatly hurt his mental health more than we expected. I think it hurt a lot more because he already sensed his boss never liked him and was trying to get find excuses to get rid of him and when they finally fired him, the unemployment office did their investigation to see if there was any valid reason they fired my husband and there wasnt. His boss tried to make it look like my husband didnt do some work he was supposed to but the boss couldnt prove that. One of his best friends passed away shortly after as well. He always says its not the reason for his spiral but i know its part of it. He has spent a lot of his time either on his phone, gaming, watching all the wwe events (there are so many and they are hours long each!) or focusing on his music business that has gone no where since we were dating (he does not market himself or anything, he just makes music and hopes for the best or get discovered, he barely even posts anything but insists he has to keep doing this). He is getting unemployment money which has helped cover the bare minimum for bills and I am currently in a work study program that pays very little. He has admitted he has been very depressed and not well but the main issue i have is when he verbally/emotionally takes it out on me. I get blamed for everything. Im always walking on eggshells. I have to think very carefully about what i say all the time, even my face expressions, body language, tone, everything or else it gets interpreted as me trying to attack him or judge him. Its exhauating. He has been without insurance for a while. When i got into this work study program I got benefits and included him on there. It takes a lot already from my piss poor wage, but i wanted to show him i want to help. Being on his phone all the time lead him to a bunch of conspiracy videos that made him even crazier. In addition, he watches all the politics about epstein, trump, wars, bombings, ICE, economic crisis, and etc that make him more stressed. If i advise to try to step away from that stuff, he tells me its ignorant to not watch (i totally understand the importance of awareness, but he watches unhealthy amounts that are doing nothing but fear monger). He gets very defensive over everything and would give me the cold shoulder for very long periods of time. And when he feels better, he thinks im better, but im not, because we never got to relove anything, he just ignored the problem for a while, then gets mad thats im still upset about an argument we had. Im trying to love him and understand him but its like he keeps pushing me away. So I left and took our cat. We have no kids btw. I have been staying with my parents. We have been separated for about 2 weeks so far. we have met up twice. We talked and he said he was surprised i left. I said he was getting very hurtful and i have exams and interviews and stuff im studying for and it was overwhelming trying to do all that while deal with him being so insidious, angry, and demanding. He said he was open to therapy but said he doesnt want to pay someone who is just gonna tell him what he already knows. So I sent him links of suggestions. There is honestly A LOT of other things in between all this so im open to answering any questions to help clarify my situation. I appreciate anyone who took time reading this. submitted by /u/greenredditbox
Originally posted by u/greenredditbox on r/AskMen