I’ve been in two long-term relationships, each lasting over 3 years. The first was long-distance (I know some people don’t count those as “real,” but it felt real to me). During my 2nd relationship, whenever my gf (at the time) called me, wanted to talk, or just hang out, I used to feel so good! Like someone is actually thinking about me, I matter, she wants me around. It felt special. But then I mentioned this to a female friend, and she basically said, “That’s bare minimum, dude.” I started comparing our efforts: level of my initiation vs. hers, what happened if I pulled back or went quiet. I actually started questioning where do I stand in her life even though I’m her bf. Now that she’s gone, I have been asking myself. “Why would any girl truly want to be with me?” I’m just an average guy. Sure, I’m kind, I can be funny, I listen, I’m there when she needs support. That’s not enough, is it? Doesn’t she need financial stability, high status, something impressive to offer, or at least be the kind of guy other women want too? Idk… I genuinely wanna know from guys who see (or atleast thinks) themselves as pretty average (not very attractive, not rich, not “high-value” by internet standards) How do you know a woman truly desires you and wants you? Not just settling, not adjusting, not just comfortable, but actually wants you? What does genuine desire feel like in day-to-day life? Is it enthusiasm, initiative from her side, the way she looks/touches you, how she talks about the future, or something else? How do you tell if she’s looking forward for future with you or she’s just going with flow until someone better shows up? If the advice is to “fix your finances/career/status first, then worry about romance” then know that I’m actually working on that. submitted by /u/Blahblahbrownsleep
Originally posted by u/Blahblahbrownsleep on r/AskMen