I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. When we first got together, our sex life was amazing. At least every time we saw each other plus maybe an extra time or two throughout the day. Now that our relationship has gone on, I feel lucky to have sex once a week. I am the one with the higher sex drive so it can feel tough but I never wanna guilt him into anything he doesn’t wanna do. What’s also bothering me if that I can be good with once a week if it’s always good but I’d say like 9 times out of 10 it’s a quickie in which I feel as though I do all the work (I go down on him but not reciprocated for example) and he’ll just have me get on top and not care if I finish or not. So a couple days ago, he was sending spicy texts throughout the day saying he had “something in mind for me” and of course I was excited because he rarely does anything just for me to get off. The sexting continued all throughout the day and once I got home the vibe and energy was low (which is also typical). By the time we got in bed, he was acting a little sleepy so I was trying to find the balance of doing other non-sexual forms of physical touch while also feeling let down. He then started groping me a bit and I was like ok guess he’s in the mood so we started kissing, and I was still waiting for him to take some initiative with what he was saying all day but it never happened so I decided to continue by going down on him and initiating sex. At the end neither one of us came and it led to a discussion that he’s frustrated that we always do the same things and he needs me to mix it up. It made me feel like I was going crazy because I feel as though our sex has been a bit boring and predictable partially because he’s quite lazy when we do it. I typically have to be the one to change positions and that’s even if he wants to. He also said something along the lines of “I didn’t want you to take care of me tonight I had something in mind for you” and I couldn’t seem to get across to him that I was WAITING for him to take charge and it never happened. So I’m at a loss of what to do. I love him dearly and sex isn’t everything but I feel as though we’re clearly not on the same wavelength. It makes me feel stupid that I want sex more than him and crave that emotional intimacy, and hurt that he’s all of a sudden not satisfied and placing the blame on me when it’s a two way street. Any advice? submitted by /u/Wrong_Ad_1084
Originally posted by u/Wrong_Ad_1084 on r/AskMen
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