Original Reddit post

The title gives a little tldr; but context is needed here. My girlfriend and i have been together for a little under two years by now, and we’ve lived together for almost a year and a half. We met while climbing with a mutual friend, and she was instantly attracted to me due to me being her exact type. She therefore initiated the first date, and the chemistry was immediate. We shared the same interests, the same humor etc. We did however differ quite a bit in sexual interests and experience from the past. While both had recently only had 4+ year long relationships. Mine was very sexually experimental, and hers was pretty vanilla and they didn’t sleep much together either. Which is one of the reason why she left him for me, she hadn’t felt wanted for years. We didn’t get serious until a while after they broke up, but we did date. For the first six months of us dating, we had sex pretty much every time we met (1-2 times a week), the sex was vanilla as expected, but i didn’t mind. It felt nice being wanted by someone i wanted back. However after moving together the time between intercourses have grown steadily. It started with a week, maybe two between, which she blamed on her work being stressful and that she just needed to get used to being in a relationship with someone who gave her attention and “wanted her”. Time passed, and last summer we could go 4-6 weeks in between. She then brought it up and said she felt bad about it, and asked what i was thinking. I basically said “I would like to have more sex of course, but i don’t want to bring it up, because i don’t want you to feel “forced” to have sex with me. I want it to come organically, or not at all.” She told me she appreciated it, and she would try to work on it. She swears she is as attracted to me as she has ever been, it’s just the sexual drive that’s not there. But since then it has only gotten worse. We now haven’t slept together since the first half of December. About 10 weeks ago. Any attempt i make at flirting or initiating results in nothing. She doesn’t waft me off or shut me down, she just doesn’t respond to it at all. It’s worth noting she has had a pretty stressful last 12 months of final exams, a shit work, quitting and starting a new job in november etc. She is also on prevention, which might affect her hormones. There are stuff that points to something being hormonally “off”, as she has her period about twice the “normal” amount. I also have no doubts that she is in love with me, and she shows it as i want her to, it’s just the sex. Now to the question: How can i bring this up without her feeling forced to start sleeping with me more often even though she doesn’t feel like it? That would be the worst thing i could imagine. All i know is, it’s ruining my connection with her because it’s taking up more and more mental space, and i’m feeling more and more insecure. submitted by /u/Bosselarson

Originally posted by u/Bosselarson on r/AskMen